Dear Body...

Dear Body,
I was so proud of you, and me, yesterday. 249.6lbs. The lowest since...highschool! I rejoiced! I sang! I danced! I told everyone on twitter! I shouldn't have. We're back over the 250 mark again today, body. I am so disappointed in us.
Let me list my weight since the 27th of October:
27th: 252.2
28th: 250.6
29th: 250.3
30th: 250.4
31st: 250.2
1st: 250.9
2nd: 250.4
3rd: 250.1
4th: 250.7
5th: 249.6
6th: 250.7

Thanks body, thanks.

Sincerely, green_eyes   </3

Dear World...

Dear World,
I've begun writing a lengthy entry about how I'm fat and have been fat for ages. But let me summarize some of it: I'm fat. I've been fat for ages. I've tried everything and all things with little or no success. So, like all good little, friendly little, dieters/fatties, I've started a new diet. OH WHAT A SURPRISE. They have me weighing myself everyday. So I am, and do you know what, dear world? I've lost 7.8 pounds on this fucker! But for the past 6 days or so...nothing. If anything, I've GAINED weight. So here's a story, through k-pop gifs, of my morning:

My expression this morning when stepping onto the scale.

A moment later, upon closer investigation of said scale, this.

Realizing it’s my fault, yet again: Combination this and this.

Doing fine outside, on the inside, however, combination this and this.

I've been listening to Rain's "Love Story" on repeat, ALL DAY today, which is not good, because now, dear world, I'm depressed as fuck. Mostly because it's such a sad, melancholy song (and I'm forever alone). But also because he's hot as hell and dances like...hnnnnnng.... (And that final "Saranghae..." just KILLS me every time.)

It's just...you see world, I'm just so fed up. "Sick and tired of being sick and tired." And, like I've said, I've tried. Tried everything and failed. And now this "miracle" I'm working on seems to be failing as well. It makes me want to cry. No, it doesn't make me want to cry, it does make me cry. Cry and cry because, what it boils down to, world, is that I feel unworthy of absolutely everything because I'm fat. That's why I've yet to do anything with my life. That's why I'm living at home, with my parents. That's why I picked the safe route in school and studied essay-course material so I wouldn't need to overreach my social profile.

That's why I have never, and never will TRY. That's why my only form of social interaction is to put myself down in a sarcastic way. I'm just...not worth anything.

And I can't even write anymore. I used to write poems, world. I can't anymore. I just can't.

Dear world;

Did you know that the only reason I'm not dead is because I'm a coward?

Did you know that the only reason I'm not Bulimic is because I can't force myself to throw up? I've had migraines since grade 2, so I've mastered I stopping myself from throwing up, so now I can't even if I try. And I've tried. And, again, failed.

I'm just so fed up with everything right now.

Sorry for ranting, world. But you know me, I don't ask people for help or let people see my emotions. You're all I've got.

Sincerely, green_eyes   <3

Dear Korea/Tiffany...

Dear Korea/Tiffany Hwang,
Oh my goodness, you girls and your eyesmiles! Seeing your smiling face, your shining eyes, makes ME smile. Your smiles make my day SO much better. Thank you!

Sincerely, green_eyes   <3

Dear Internet...

Dear Internet,
Sometimes, most times, I love you. You make my life worth living, you give me joy and knowledge and make me smile. Most times. Right now is not one of those times. Right now, I'm crying. And I feel like both eating chocolate and throwing up.
Why did I have to find this site?

Why can I never, EVER, be skinny enough to be happy?
Sometimes, internet, you make me hate myself, more so than usual.


Sincerely, green_eyes

Dear Korean Dramas.....

Dear Korean dramas,
Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop using english in your dramas. The Actor is a French man playing an American boyfriend. WHAT. IS. HE. EVEN. SAYING?
I have no idea. This is absolutely hilarious bullshit. HILARIOUS.


Sincerely, green_eyes   <3

Dear Gong Yoo and Yoon Eun Hye...

Dear Gong Yoo and Yoon Eun Hye,
I love you two. You are both SENSATIONAL actors! So talented and such amazing individuals. And, it must be said, that you're both insanely good looking. So please, please please please, let this be true:

http://www.allkpop.com/2011/09/gong-yoo-confesses-that-his-ideal-type-is-yoon-eun-hye

"On September 6th, Gong Yoo attended the press related premiere event for his upcoming movie, ‘Crucible‘.


Knowing that Gong Yoo has starred with some of Korea’s top female actresses including Jung Yoo Jin, Im Soo Jung, and Yoon Eun Hye; reporters couldn’t resist to ask the question, “Who is your ideal type?”   Gong Yoo started to laugh and replied, “Kang In Ho (main character) will answer that question.”


Gong Yoo then commented that Jung Yoo Jin’s perfect characteristics could be a little overwhelming.  In regards to Im Soo Jung’s innocent appeal, Gong Yoo replied, “Innocent women could also be a bit boring“.  Finally, Gong Yoo admitted that if he had to choose an ideal type, he would want to meet a tomboy. Yoon Eun Hye was a tomboy in Coffee Prince, so the reporters assumed he was talking about her.


However, Gong Yoo stressed to the reporters, “What I just said is not directly targeted to Yoon Eun Hye, so please don’t write otherwise” which caused everyone to laugh.


On a side note, ‘Crucible‘ is a movie based on a true story about disabled students mistreated by the principal and teachers alike at a handicapped school.  The movie will open in theaters on September 22nd."




Don't kid, Gong Yoo, you know you love her. <3



Sincerely, green_eyes   <3

Dear Impending-Doom...

Dear Impending-Doom,
Ya, no thanks. Maybe next time. Thanks, bye.


Sincerely, green_eyes   <3